Never Stand Between a Cowboy and His Spittoon: Laughs from the Old West Press - Softcover

Here in handy pocketbook form, are the jests and jabs he found that made it into the pages of such publications as the Coconino Sun, the Arizona Silver Belt, the Arizona Daily Star and the Holbrook Argus during Arizona's wild, politically incorrect territorial times. Modern readers may not have the same reactions as did folks on the frontier, but everyone will appreciate these gems as a historical reflection of what was funny at the time.

Traveler:"Who's the close-mouthed individual in the corner? He hasn't spoken for ten minutes."

Storekeeper: "He's jus' waitin' fer Pete t' come back with th' spittoon."

And this . . .

"Although I am a septuagenarian, remember I'm a millionaire. Could you learn to love me? Am I too old for you?"

"On the contrary. You are too young."

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"And now, little girls," said the Sunday school teacher, "you may tell me about the epistles."

A little girl raised her hand.

"Well," said the teacher.

"The epistles," said the little girl, "are the wives of the apostles."

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"Ah," exclaimed the cannibal chief, smacking his lips, "what kind of minister was that we had for dinner?"

"Your excellency," replied his companion, "I should say he was a prime minister."

Here's a gross of jokes taken from newspapers published before Arizona became a state in 1912. Some are classy. Others are crass. They reflect the prejudices and assumpations of the time. Not to mention humor.

Men usually are depicted as dumb, drunken goldbricking fools, and darn happy to be that way until they marry. As for women, the only thing they want more than a man and marriage is to trash their female rivals with cold, slicing remarks. Oh, yes. They also have a need - apparently genetic - to conceal their true age.

We make no apologies for presenting these stereotypes, which, in today's world are hardly politically correct. They are a part of our history. They tell us how much things have changed, and how little.